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ART ANGEL IS CURRENTLY ON HIATUS. Sorry to those who have requested, but you will have to request again when Art Angel re-opens.
Art Angel is a place where you can request fanfic trailers, reviews, and one-shots.
Art Angel Studios is the youtube channel for trailers, MVs, promos, while Art Angel Collections is a compilation of one-shot stories as requested by fans. The navigation links at the bottom will direct you to where you want to go. So whether requesting, or simply looking around, welcome to Art Angel.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1
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SITE NAME:ART ANGELOPENED:JULY 04, 2009
OWNER:ELLA
TYPE:REQUEST SITE
CURRENTLY ON SEMI-HIATUS
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Review Request #6
Title (/5)
Plot (/30) – Creativity/originality, comprehensible, descriptions
Characterization (/25) – portrayal, voices/emotions, interactions
Structure (/25) – pace/flow, writing style, sentence structure
Grammar/Spelling (/15)
Bonus (/5) – poster/background, overall enjoyment
* * * * *
Title: Destined Hearts
Author: Wendy
Link: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/Alexyrene/
Reviewed by: Ella
Review requested @ artangel12.blogspot.com
Title (3/5)
It’s a bit two common, a bit too cliché, perhaps make the title more appealing, more eye-catching next time.
Plot (24/30)
I can’t really comment much on this since the story’s not complete, but so far it looks good. It’s simple and cute, I love how the boys are looking up Filipino cuisine and mispronouncing their names but still drooling over them. Do work on your descriptions more though so that it’ll help each chapter into perspective.
Characterization (20/25)
I don’t know what you want me to think about the characters. I get your attempt at trying to slowly reveal their past and character, but it doesn’t seem to be working, first off, the mood and timing is off, second of all, one you try to reveal the characters too quickly. For example, at the beginning, we see her as a this working, independent, serious woman, and then all of a sudden we see her in a whole different context as a young silly/cheerful teenager. I guess it can make people wonder what happened, but I just find it to abrupt.
Also, I don’t quite understand Xyrene’s and Angeli’s relationship. Angeli adores Xyrene and Xyrene really cares about Angeli, but I think you need to develop how they got to that point more. The only interaction between them that tries to explain their relationship is when they first met. While you need to work on your characterization, I think you have some cute ideas about relationships. I like the interaction between Xyrene and her dad, it was cute when he thought she liked her best friend’s boyfriend.
Structure (21/25)
A bit confusing to have it switch from one pov to another. I would suggest to stick to one pov or not change it too quickly. Also, you lost points for the sudden shift at the beginning, jumping from the present to the past without any indications, you totally lost me there.
Grammar/Spelling (9/15)
Watch your grammer. While it does not majority hinder your story, it still can confuse readers. For example:
Chapter 01:
“Can’t you look at your way?”
I asked acting like angry with what he did to the Hawaiian girl.
“Bumped at you?”
Chapter 02:
What if she had already leave?
it was this guy who got I think a Filipino look.
They can sound right but are grammatically incorrect.
Bonus (3.5/5)
Nice poster. While this is not really my type of story (I don’t get the deal with fan girls), your cliffhangers are really keeping me interested. I really want to find out what happens next, update!
TOTAL - 80.5/100