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ART ANGEL IS CURRENTLY ON HIATUS. Sorry to those who have requested, but you will have to request again when Art Angel re-opens.
Art Angel is a place where you can request fanfic trailers, reviews, and one-shots.
Art Angel Studios is the youtube channel for trailers, MVs, promos, while Art Angel Collections is a compilation of one-shot stories as requested by fans. The navigation links at the bottom will direct you to where you want to go. So whether requesting, or simply looking around, welcome to Art Angel.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1
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SITE NAME:ART ANGELOPENED:JULY 04, 2009
OWNER:ELLA
TYPE:REQUEST SITE
CURRENTLY ON SEMI-HIATUS
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Review Request #5
Title (/5)
Plot (/30) – Creativity/originality, comprehensible, descriptions
Characterization (/25) – portrayal, voices/emotions, interactions
Structure (/25) – pace/flow, writing style, sentence structure
Grammar/Spelling (/15)
Bonus (/5) – poster/background, overall enjoyment
* * * * *
Title: Vocalize
Author: LoveLee
Link: http://winglin.net/fanfic/VEEE/
Reviewed by: Ella
Review requested @ artangel12.blogspot.com
Title (5/5)
It’s a unique title. Definitely interesting how it can be interpreted to mean her name, her dreams, and/or her life.
Plot (28/30)
Good plotline. Simple but with original twists. You know how to engage the readers. I was brimming with curiosity through many parts of your story (ex. Wooyoung having a GF, Jiyong’s connection to her, her having amnesia). And just when you think that things have calmed down a new sub-plot arises (ex. Vee’s kidnapping, them being forced to marry). I’m not sure how getting married will solve much though. Overall, it was a creative but comprehensible story. Good job.
Characterization (17/25)
Good solid characters. I love the interaction between Hana and Vee, and, Jaebeom and Joonhee, and how Jaebeum messes with Jiyong’s mind. Extra points with the names, it shows you really put some thought into Hana and Vee’s name.
Though light-hearted at first, it starts to intensify and you manage to convey their emotions well, even in single lines, such as ‘Rejection hurts.’ I could feel the depth of her sadness behind those words.
I also like how each character has different sides to them, for example, the playboy Jaebeom has a chivalrous side to him; the soft-hearted Vee has a vengeful side. As the story moves on, you still continue to reveal more and more about the characters (ex. Joonhee knowing a lot from first impressions) and that endears them to the reader.
Also, good use of POVs to express each individual. I really like how Jiyong is saying one thing but thinking another.
However you lost points on her brother’s sudden change of heart. It would have been nice to slowly develop her brother turning from a mean and abusive brother to a brotherly figure. Also, the ending was a bit abrupt, I didn't even realize she had such a huge impact on the girls she's just met, it would have better to have developed their relationship more.
Nonetheless, it’s good that you are able to build on both major and minor characters, on their thoughts and relationships but with so many characters it can get confusing as well so be careful.
Structure (19/25)
The pace at the beginning is a bit off, you started off with the present, with light-hearted feelings and cute interactions and then suddenly jump back to the past filled with sadness, I think you could have spaced them out more, built up at a better pace. I also think you have to be careful with how you put in your flashbacks as they can disrupt the flow of your story, such as at the beginning, with Ah and Vee, and with Hyora and Dongwoon. Don’t get me wrong, there were instances were you used it perfectly, like when it was revealed that she has amnesia, but for future reference, it would be good to consider if you really need the flashback.
Grammar/Spelling (13.5/15)
Minor spelling and grammatical error.
Bonus (4/5)
It was an easy and enjoyable read, although the poster/background is a bit distracting. My favourite character is Jaebeum. Really tragic about the ending though.
TOTAL - 86.5/100